The Must read post of the day by Stephen Crowder

Posted: September 24, 2010 in opinion/news
Tags: , , ,

I knew there was a reason I liked this kid so much when I met him:

As a stand-up comedian, I’ve seen hacks openly depict the most depraved, explicit sexual acts they can think of just to get a laugh out of the audience. Clearly, telling wiener jokes is no longer the treading of new territory that it once was.

Funnily enough, today there is one area of sex that when discussed, still makes people’s posteriors pucker with discomfort… abstinence.

Every young woman should remember the line that follows.

Constantly we hear cries of women aimed at their supposedly overly jealous boyfriends, “What’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?”

No, he doesn’t. You slept with him on the first date and there is no reason for him to think that you wouldn’t do the same when a better offer comes along emphasis mine.

I actually had to use a variation of that piece of advice to a young lady years ago who was asking my advice about dating/sleeping with a married man. This kid has learned it in his 20’s. Well done.

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Comments
  1. Adrienne says:

    or……..the woman who dates a married man who then leaves his wife to marry her and she’s surprised when he does the same to her. Duh! My mama taught me better…

  2. Roxeanne de Luca says:

    It goes both ways. When men say that they want to sleep with me on the third date, I know that it’s not about love with them. They can’t later try to convince me that they now really want sex because of their deep, loving feelings that they just have to express physically; I already know that it’s about lust and getting laid with them.

    Oh, and these guys do not understand that the price of getting a loyal woman who isn’t going to cheat on you is having to keep it in their pants. I lost count of the number of men I’ve dated who have been cheated on and want me to act like their skanky cheating exes, but are so thrilled that they are dating a nice woman who doesn’t sleep around and won’t cheat on them. It’s mind-boggling.

    On married men: not that I condone divorce, but… men are with the women they love. Period. End of story. if he loves you, he will first file divorce papers, end his marriage, and start dating you when he can proudly take you out in public, show you off to his friends, and tell his family about you. If he’s not doing that, he’s not in love and just wants action on the side.

  3. Roxeanne de Luca says:

    Hum… slight disagreements here. First, I don’t think it’s about propriety (or just about propriety); it’s about love, values, and those things that make for a good relationship. (Okay, my pragmatic side would like to weigh in and say this: it’s also a health thing and a basic human decency thing. AIDS has been around for my entire life. My generation grew up listening to talk of STDs. So casual sex strikes me as particularly callous.)

    And, call me crazy, but I want a man who wants to wait, no matter what his body wants, and who would wait even if he was with a woman who did not want to wait.

    Also, there is a definite correlation between how men view waiting, physicality, and their views on child-murder, as in, those who ask for sex early on tend to have a hard-on for abortion in ways that those who (whatever their bodies may be saying) do not.

    I’ll also throw this out there: more men than women cheat in marriage; in fact, some cynical stats show that about half of men cheat at some point or another. Far too many women put up with the “Well, all men want sex, of course” line and do not take the time to seriously consider the values of the men they are dating.

  4. Roxeanne de Luca says:

    I’m not saying that humans are perfect and lack a tendency towards wrongdoing (but humans can also have tendencies towards selfless things that are every bit as instinctual as those bad things), but I am saying that what a man does with his desire is 100% a character issue. Saying that it’s as social issue or an issue of how women make men better really obscures the basic fact that it’s a character issue that has a huge correlation to how the relationship (and marriage) will fare. Just as Crowder said that men who slept with their girlfriends on the first date don’t trust them to not sleep around later, women should not trust men who have sex on the first date, either!

    Please don’t forget that people tell me everything and that I get along very well with a lot of men. The result is that I probably know far too much about too many people’s relationships and marriages, and I’m here to tell you that men who sleep around before marriage make lousy husbands after marriage.