How odd is it to promote something from comments elsewhere?

Posted: March 13, 2010 by datechguy in oddities, personal
Tags: ,

In this case from Little Miss Attila’s site.

She was writing about the difference between emotional vs physical infidelity and I commented on something that happened to me recently. I was planning on making fun of myself for the idiocy later but since I answered the comment there I decided not to wait.

So from her comments I promote the bit about idiocy and sleep apnea.

The hardest part of a relationship is the learning to live with each other. For me it was that third month when the shine of marriage became coping with each other.

Once time goes on it can become really interesting. One thing I’ve found about myself is that I can even after all these years can actually be very tone deaf on this kind of thing. I really blew it recently without realizing it.

My wife has been on my case for a year about getting a sleep study, She wakes up a lot at night and discovered me not breathing so she would shake me. I would wake up and she would tell me I need to get that checked.

I come from a family notorious for not bothering to go to the doctor. My mother and Aunt both avoid them and will be 86 and 89 respectively this year so although my wife is a nurse who knows her stuff I pooh poohed it.

At CPAC however one day I met Cynthia Yockey who actually had this problem and is still suffering the ill effects of it. I don’t know how it came up in conversation but she was emphatic that I had to get that sleep study to make sure what happened to her didn’t happen to me. After that I agreed.

As you might remember I am kind of naive by nature so I assumed my wife would be happy that I was finally doing the study, but when she found out that I was doing so on the advice of a someone else (I don’t think the fact that is was a woman, lesbian or no made the difference) she was furious. I’m still hearing about it weeks later and paying for it.

You would think after all these years I would have figured it out. All my friends say I really blew it, I don’t think there is anything I could have done to get her angrier. Yet I didn’t have a clue.

So guys take this advice to heart, think!

What’s actually funny (well it isn’t really that funny) was I thought it was over and done when I got back but it came up again at the beginning of the month. I thought it was over again but it came up again last night. I guess those flowers were more necessary than I thought. I presume I will hear about it again when I actually take the study on the 12th of next month.

One might thing that three or four hits over this might be intolerable. There are two things that make it not:

First of all you never know what might really hurt so you have to give a spouse the benefit of the doubt on that kind of stuff.

Secondly I work under the “Choose the hill you are going to die on” theory of marriage. It suggests that most of the irritants in life in general and marriage in particular are actually over small things. One shouldn’t get really angry or create a major confrontation over these insignificant things. (Too many people do to their regret). We are all guilty of this on occasion but to be conscious of it requires effort.

On a big thing, something that effects life, livelihood or honor and self respect the line gets drawn in the sand and you fight. With care and effort (particularly proper communication) you won’t run into that line often but the line should exist. There is nothing more pathetic than someone without such a line.

  1. Adrienne says:

    OooooooWeeeeee! Big, BIG mistake!! Even Harold would have thought twice about that one.

    And furthermore – you should have listened to her from the beginning. I went through the same thing with Harold. He’s been wearing his C-pap machine for 20 years now, but it took me over a year to get him to mention it to our doctor. Sleep apnea can “kill you” as our doctor informed Harold.

    What the heck is it with you guys not taking advice from your wife??